I know this to be true. Being in a relationship for 22 years, one figures out what kind of relationship they are in. Dependent or independent.
Being two independent people in a relationship brings something to that connection. You bring yourself and all that you are, you bring your independence and you bring nothing but love and wanting the best for the other person in your life.
There is no smothering, no blaming the other person for any unhappiness, just the desire to make the other person the best version on themselves.
What kind of a relationship do you want?